A FEW THINGS THAT NEVER HAPPEN IN "THUNDERBIRDS"

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                         by Iain Murray





- Thunderbird 1 cannot be launched as someone is having a swim.



- Thunderbird 1 cannot be launched as Scott gets his zip stuck 

putting on his uniform.



- Virgil burns the backside out of his trousers going down the 

launch chute to Thunderbird 2.



- Virgil is halfway down the launch chute when he remembers he's 

left Thunderbird 2 parked outside.



- Brains has just invented a new gadget which is no use 

whatsoever in the present emergency.



- The Hood goes to peel off his mask and finds that it's stuck.



- Lady Penelope gets an emergency call at a convenient time.



- Lady Penelope indicates to Parker a greater desire to catch the 

villain they are pursuing than to keep FAB 1's paintwork intact.



- An emergency broadcast is picked up and successfully dealt 

with by the fire brigade before International Rescue arrive.



- Thunderbird 2 gets to the disaster area only to find it's 

brought the wrong pod.



- Thunderbird 2's underjets keep firing until the ship has 

actually landed.



- An aircraft breaks through the sound barrier without radioing 

base to inform them of the event.



- Alan refuses to go on a mission as he's got a date with Tintin.



- Brains invents a gadget which isn't transistorised.



- A baddie plants a bomb which is not labelled "BOMB".



- Parker replies to a request of Lady Penelope's by telling her 

to "Naff off".



- The size and position of hull lettering on the Thunderbirds 

stays unchanged throughout the mission.



- International Rescue arrive at the disaster area only to find 

that the people in danger are already dead.



- International Rescue arrive at the disaster area and rescue 

the people in danger with plenty of time to spare.



- Scott and Virgil arrive at the disaster area in their civvies 

as their uniforms are at the cleaners.



- Brains speaks an entire sentence without hesitation.



- A building, vehicle or major piece of equipment is seen which 

does not have a label on it saying what it is.



- An emergency message is broadcast on a hastily rigged Heath 

Robinson transmitter powered by a potato and Thunderbird 5 fails 

to pick it up.